Use Fear To Build Your ‘Courage’ Muscles

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Isn’t it funny how kids (and adults) love Halloween? I remember waiting in line for a haunted house tour and being so excited. But then, as my turn to go in approached, I was scared. It’s interesting how we can both love and hate to be afraid. Fear is a paralyzing emotion. Certainly, it serves a useful purpose – to ensure that we look at consequences before plowing ahead without due consideration. But, it also can freeze us in place.

How often is fear holding you back from what you really want in your business, career, relationships, or your goals? When anxieties take hold, one thing you can do to help yourself move forward is to break down the issue you are facing.

For example, if you are considering a bold move, like a new job, here are some questions to ask yourself:

What’s the worst that can happen and can I live with that?

What’s the best that can happen and are the odds pretty good?

Am I willing to live without that opportunity? When might it come again?

Have I experienced fear that I’ve conquered and what were the results?

Has fear held me back before and what were the results?

Am I afraid to let go of the familiar even though it zaps my energy?

How will I talk about this when I’m 80 and reflecting back?

After you’ve answered these questions consider the following:

Don’t wait on fear. If you wait for fear to dissipate or disappear, trust me, you'll have a long wait. Anything worth doing in life will involve fear, whether it's talking to a stranger, giving a speech, or leaving a relationship that you know is holding you back.

I have a special litmus test for whether or not to act in spite of fear. If, when considering a situation, you feel a mixture of fear and excitement, I've learned that a "yes" vote is usually a good bet. There seems to be something about this combination that signals an opportunity that will move you forward in life.

Use fear to your advantage. Tackle those things that evoke a sense of excitement and trepidation and fear will become an ally. Each new experience provides a challenge and an opportunity to expand your comfort zone. The way to create an extraordinary life is to make the challenge of fear work for you by building your courage muscles. You can train yourself to face fear head-on so you can push yourself beyond a mediocre life to a life that honors your values and highest calling.

Take action. When one of my biggest fears came true and I became single again, I took action and wrote a book about it. All the fear and anxiety I had about being single and dating became, Dating 101: The Second, Third or Fourth Time Around. I was able to take the anxious energy I had and direct it toward a project that forced me to face my fear. Taking action removes the focus from your fear and transfers it into creating your own solution.

Deanna Frazier is an attraction expert, executive coach and seminar leader, For more information visit www.DeannaFrazier.com or email Dee@DeannaFrazier.Com.

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