What Is Your Attitude Saying About You?

Posted August 5th, 2008

Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 24 weeks Send a message

In my last post I asked the tough question of whether or not you were bringing people down or whether the company you are keeping is keeping you down. This post is about your attitude. Are you a kill joy? Are you optimistic? Is your attitude contagious or are people running from you?

So many people have so much to be ungrateful for in their lives and boy do they let you know it. I run into them all the time...at work, on the street, in the store, behind the counter, in my circle of friends. But why? It is hard for me to really have sympathy for people and here is why. Just to be an American citizen is a blessing. If we really step back and put things into perspective on a national and global level, we are quick to realize all the less fortunate countries and people compared to us. Need some help? How about the bride burning in India? The rape, brutalization and killings of women and children in Africa that no one really pays attention to? Or the Aids epidemic in Africa? Or the starving people all over the world?... to name a few.

I realize we are human and it is natural for us to only think of our little box and how we fit into it. We react to the things that directly impact our comfort levels. I include myself in this too. But what if we all started looking at our lives from a "grand scheme of things" perspective? Where our life is just a tiny, albeit important, spec and remember that things really aren't that bad. When we get up in the morning we can ACTUALLY change our circumstances, many of those people can't. If we put our minds to it we do anything. As Americans we have so many opportunities and people are literally dying to get here to live out their "American Dream."

As a single mom, I had to instill these very ideas into my son. I didn't want him to become another of Dr. Dobsons statistics and I worked very hard to inspire him. We always watched movies that had a powerful story like Remember The Titans, Pay It Forward, August Rush, even CLICK with Adam Sandler! That was a tear jerker. My son actually got me to watch that one. One of our favorites was the movie The Pursuit Of Happyness. What a powerful story. One mans story of being so far at the bottom that you weren't sure he was going to make it out, yet, he does. I have watched that movie over and over and his attitude and persistence got him out of poverty.

Right now, times are tough for everyone. The news, the media, and the papers embellish on all this negativity and more which makes us even more insecure and less confident and if we are not careful, many of us are being sucked into a mindset of negativity. The economy is causing many issues for people both personally and professionally. Gas prices are at an all time high, taxes didn't just creep up, they leaped up, mortgage rates have sky rocketed, inflation is up, food costs are up, and no one really prepared us for this. We were all enjoying the fat off the cow and not really thinking out a recession. How do you make it through this challenging time? It is down right scary out there for many small businesses, large businesses, and people in general. Your attitude during this can either make or break you. I know that it easy to write but hard to practice but it is a MUST to come out on the other side of this.

You see, I have learned that how we think is the direction that our mind will take us in. So if our conscious and unconscious thoughts are constantly negative that will ultimately become our reality and "as you think so you are!" You will steer your life, your company, your relationship in the very direction you are trying to avoid.

Last year I read about a study done on the power of optimism. Optimism has such a profound impact on the way you feel, your health, mental well being, your success, and how you overcome obstacles in your life. The study involved a basketball team and their ability to throw free throw shots. The psychologists divided the basketball team into three groups and each group was given a different set of instructions. The first group was told to practice shooting free throws on the court while the second group was told to discuss and talk about the strategies for improving their free throws. The third group was told to practice shooting free throws, BUT, only in their minds!

Guess what? When the players returned a week later the groups that practiced (either in reality or in their minds) scored significantly higher free throw shots. More surprising was the group that had practiced the free throw shots mentally, scored as high as the group that actually practiced on the court! (She Means Business by Grant Schneider)

The mind is powerful and your thoughts are powerful. They impact your health, your confidence, your faith, emotional well being and those around you. You must practice separating your faith from your feelings constantly. Pushing negative and bad thoughts out of your mind instead of pondering them or giving them power. Our feelings can be overwhelmingly strong but need not be acted on, especially when fear is involved. They will be there but the power is in what you decide to do with them.

Our attitudes also impact those around us. If I am in a bad mood, or thinking I am going to fail, it is projected outward to everyone I come in contact with. The words I choose, the ideas I can't wrap my mind around, the creativity that I squash, my insecurities and lack of confidence is picked up and absorbed by every person I come into contact with whether I realize it or not.

I hate being around people with downer attitudes. You know who they are too. I hate being around people who are negative, critical and smother ideas, creativity and leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, depressed and down. And believe me THERE are people who live like this and don't even know it. They smile, they seem friendly but it is the comments they make, the things they say, the seeds they plant in your head, that just leave you feeling confused and bad. Many times it is hard to pick up on at first because they come across as "nice" people, but something isn't right and you can sense it. Usually takes a few conversations with them to realize what is happening or before their attitude reveals itself. Are you like that?

I have always been a Bible person. I LOVED reading the stories in the Bible when I was a child, even into adulthood. I am so inspired by the stories, the lives and the lessons. My favorite story of all time is King Solomon. We are all like him. Given the same circumstances, the same situation we all would do the same thing that he did. But what I loved about that story more than anything was the fact that in the end he was considered the wisest man in the Bible do to his experiences. People came from all over the world to seek the wisdom of King Solomon. When I was little I use to pray that I would be "Wise as a serpent, but harmless like a dove." I wanted to have wisdom. What I learned is that wisdom comes with a price........the price of life experience. It is those experiences, good, bad, painful, stupid..........that make us wise. I have had a lot of very painful experiences and as a result I feel like I have earned a great deal of wisdom as many of you have as well.

DON'T EVER DOUBT YOUR OWN WISDOM! That is what I like about AlphaWomen.com is that so many of you, like me, have learned some very painful lessons in your journey and have a GREAT DEAL of wisdom and you share it here. Wisdom is a gift, use it to your benefit and you will make better decisions about your life.

Wisdom combined with a grateful, optimistic attitude will bring to you much success in good and bad times. When I am down I pray for wisdom, peace and gratitude even when I don't feel it. I also listen to some Christian music and music that gets me moving.

This is my favorite song that I listen to over and over in the morning as I tell myself how my day is going to be GREAT! I love the lyrics. This is an awesome album by Armin.

Armin Van Buuren - Imagine - Hold Onto Me!

Hold On To Me

I see the pieces
People in places
Burn up the night
And fade to Grey

Walking on water
Dancing on wire
Hang on the edge
and don't let them...

I'm on the outside
Wide open spaces
Searching for time to hold onto

Into the daylight
Your revelation
Cuts like a knife
And Breaks on through

Hold onto this
To dream is a gift
To love is divine
And I won't bring you down
Hold onto to me
To dream is to be
To live is to shine
And I won't bring you down

It breaks on through

Hold onto this
To dream is a gift
To love is divine
And None will bring you down

Ask yourself this...Is Your Attitude Bringing you down? Today vow that each morning when you awake you will look in the mirror and say, "Am I going to lift myself and other people up or bring them down?"

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Comments

undiscovered says:

...listening to the track

Posted August 5th, 2008

...listening to the track right now.. it's positive and uplifting good choice.

My family, mother, father and sister have always been very negative people and have lived most of their lives dealing with situations in a very negative manner which in turn has indeed led to more and more negativity. They almost have no quality of life because they are so negative. All the little things - they look at the bad side of everything, therfore things always appear gloomy to them.

I have fought this all my life and ever since I had some Natural Positive Therapy when I was 26 - 10 years ago I have slowly begun to undo everything I was taught as a child. We are very much driven by our parents and how they approach life so this has been very difficult for me, and I often wonder if I had been more positive with my marriage that it may have never ended. However I think I also have managed to get through my separation because I have been positive and always try and instill this into my fantastic children. I will never teach them to have a negative approach to life because I know what it did to me.

Thanks for posting this!

Freda Mooncotch says:

I know exactly what you are

Posted August 5th, 2008

I know exactly what you are talking about. I also think we are negative here in the United States in general. It is something we have to constantly fight against because we are surrounded by day in and day out. I just shut people out and down when they start getting negative on me. I also try to stay away from people when I feel a bout of negativity coming on. I am human and it does strike me too. But I recover much quicker and pull myself out of it when I just focus on what I want instead of my fears.

Thanks for sharing.

Great Post!
XOXO,
Freda
Founder
www.AlphaWomen.com
"Those Who Say It Can't Be Done Need To Get Out Of The Way Of Those Who Are Doing It!"

Ellen Day says:

Great Post and Good Question

Posted August 6th, 2008

Freda,

No kidding, and our body lingo/language is also an extension of our attitude.

Life can sometimes throw us a curve ball and can greatly impact our thinking and the attitude we project toward others.

Thank you for sharing this very important topic.

XOXOXO!!!

Ellen R. Day

GraceyK says:

I absolutely loved your

Posted August 6th, 2008

I absolutely loved your blog. It is very thought provoking and very inspiring. Thank you.

SimoneWright says:

You are right Freda, we live

Posted August 8th, 2008

You are right Freda, we live in an amazingly negative society... media, television, magazines don't help.
I made an agreement with myself about 2 years ago - to remove the television from my home. Quit - cold turkey!! I haven't missed it for a second... the only thing I have less of is the endless stream of negative messages and imagery that comes from the aptly named "Idiot box".
What is so funny about this is the response I get when I tell people "I don't watch television.".... "WHAT?" they say..."You don't watch TV?" Aghast at the possibility that someone has the ability to live without it.
We have to become so diligent about the negative things we are surrounding ourselves with, but we also need to be aware of what the negative things are we are carrying around with us. Even we evolved Alpha Women should always be working to 'peel the onion of our subconscious.
Perhaps I should issue an Alpha Women challenge - to stop watching TV or listening to the radio, or reading newspapers for ONE Week. And see how you manage through it. Trust me.... you won't miss out on anything... because it is always the same story being told over and over again.... only the characters change....
I think I would rather be the star of my own life program.
Thanks for the post!!
Simone Wright
Soulstrategies
www.soulstrategies.com

yumyumqueen says:

You are so right on...

Posted August 11th, 2008

This is such a great topic. We do live in a very negative society, and it is one in which we are bombarded with messages that encourage egocentrism and selfishness. For the most part, people are not encouraged to think beyond their own lives and consider what life is like for people in other parts of the world. I used to work with adolescents and unfortunately this was very apparent after the very first conversation I had with most of them. Many of them expected everything to be handed to them - not only did they not know the value of hard work but they were only concerned about themselves most of the time. It was hard to be around people with this kind of attitude for very long. I think what I found most sad about working with these young people was that none of these kids were underprivileged in any way - they didn't even know the meaning of the word!

I am lucky enough to be married to someone from another country. The story of how his family escaped from a communist country and even had to leave a family member behind in order to do so really makes you re-evaluate the things that you consider to be "terrible" in your own life.

I've gone through some tough times in my life - the death of my mother, infertility, a lifelong weight problem - but all of these things helped to shape me into the person I am today. I think it's all led me to my current career path. I am so greatful that I get to play a part in helping others shift their perspectives to ones that are more positive and life-giving.

Holly Amarandei
http://www.cleversolutionscoaching.com
cleversolutionscoaching.com/blog
www.yumyumqueen.wordpress.com