member for 32 weeks 14 hours
The latest Palin buzz (after the lipstick on a pig comment) is a debate about Governor Palin's decision to return to work only 3 days after she gave birth to her youngest baby. See post on msnbc.com. Now, I'm not going to make this a political post, nor will I share my November voting preference...it really has no bearing on this topic. Rather, it is my intention to point out why this most recent debate is so relevant to me as a career woman, wife and mom who is trying to teach her kids a thing or two about financial and social responsibility.
When or if a woman chooses to return to work after pregnancy is no one's decision but hers. Why do people feel they know what is best for each individual? And, why should the timing of her return even be relevant to this election? What happened to personal choice, doing what's best for your family, responsibility, PAYING YOUR BILLS, etc.? Should the fact that Governor Palin returned from leave 3 days or 3 months after child birth be detrimental to other working moms that would like to remain on leave longer? NO....why should it? Women need to weigh many things when deciding if and when to return to work. Women need to make their own CHOICES and here are some of the things we wrestle with:
Finances - Can I afford to be out of work for an extended period of time? If your finances or standard of living do not support it, you might have to come back to work earlier.
Company policy - What is the maternity leave policy at my job? Are paid maternity benefits offered? There is the standard Family Medical Leave Act that offers 12 weeks of UNPAID medical leave for pregnancy and guarantees a "like" position upon return but if finances are an issue, 3 months off without pay isn't going to help much.
Career Interests - Where am I in my career? Are you still climbing the corporate ladder? Is there someone waiting in the wings to take your place? Are you going to be out of work at a critical period of time, i.e. budget season? How long have you worked at the company? What is your boss' expectations about your maternity leave? Both my maternity leaves took place during budget season - not the best timing. Since my contribution was critical to the decision making process I began working part time from home one week after both deliveries. I knew I was ultimately returning to work full time and developing the budget numbers tied into my annual goals and objectives. In fact when I returned, I was actually promoted!
Home Resources - What sort of care can I obtain for my child? Can you get reliable and affordable help? Can your husband take some time off and share in the care taking as well? Caring for your child is no longer just the mom's role as many women are now in equally if not higher paying jobs as men.
What's Best For Your Child - What is best for my child? Only you know the answer to that question. I'll just offer one piece of advice: a happy woman makes a happy mother so listen to your feelings.
So how does this tie into the lessons I am teaching my children? I feel we are sending a positive message when a mom explains to her children that she needs to quickly return to work so she can contribute to the household. We should not be judging mothers who return to work after 3 days, 3 months or 3 years. Would we rather tell our kids we're losing our house due to credit card debt while mom stays home? What about the women who don't necessarily need to go back to work but return because they desire financial independence and security? Aren't we being positive role models for our children? Or do we still live in the days where money messages are best left to the men?
Whew! I'm anxious to hear your feedback on this one!!
Working Moms: Palin Judged On Returning to Work??
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Login or register to post a commentI agree...
It seems as if many women who are very passionate and vocal about the right to choose (which I whole heartedly support), the right to equal pay, and the right to equal opportunities for women are knocking Palin for going back to work too soon. I know several executive-level women who have gone back to work even the day after child birth. I was impressed by their physical and mental strength in doing so, and not so offended by their personal “choice” to get back to work. They go back to work because there is a company full of employees relying on them for leadership. These women have very supportive husbands and/or family members that are willing and able to help raise the children. Whatever happened to the “it takes a village” philosophy … or does that only apply to women who are democrats???
This is a tough one. I too
This is a tough one. I too agree that women should have every opportunity within every opportunity. I too agree that the debates over Palin abilities as a mother are extremely sexist. I don't think I've ever heard a man's candidacy in question over the possibility that he was a shitty dad. Are we supposed to believe that American Presidents never missed out on opportunities with the their kids???
On the reality side of the coin though I don't like the conundrum that we (as women) have created for ourselves in a world where we think we can and should be doing it all.
I don't WANT to do it ALL. I mean sweet Lord, do we ever get a break?? Now I have the pressures of living up to a woman who takes care of the kids AND is vice president of the most powerful country in the world??
I know, I know, her husband takes a key role in raising the kids. On the surface, I think that is fantastic. I love the idea of people taking on non-traditional roles if that is what suits them personally and as a family. But that just isn't the norm in this country.
I think Palin is getting so much flack because many women who are married, and working, and who have kids, are doing too much and they are overworked. Maybe it's those women who are criticizing her the hardest because at the core they know if Palin can do it, then that must mean there is something wrong with them, that they can't. (It's a long shot, but it is possible.)
Either way, no matter where it comes from (the left or right) I don't think it is a fair criticism, UNLESS we bring up the parenting dilemmas and loyalties faced by all the candidates, which we all know, won't ever happen.
Personally, I think America is a work obsessed country. I think it is insane to not give your body a rest after having a baby. Why is a commitment to relently punching a clock viewed with so much more nobility? Of course, many women don't have a choice for financial reasons, but many do.
I want to do lots of things with my life and in order to do those things I can't have children. Bottom line. Sometimes you have to realistically know that if you "want it all" quality is going to suffer somewhere. Maybe that is the heart of the critique against Palin.
I could not agree more.
I could not agree more. Thanks for the very informative blog!
Agree
I agree that the decision to return to work is an individual decision. Some women absolutely have to return in order to pay their bills. Others choose to delay return because they may need more time to heal or to care for their baby (and other children). No women should be judged by the time phrame they choose.
I know one man whose wife had a baby (had another at home that was 19 months old) and when his wife gave birth, she died. OMG. It was horrible. The company he worked for sent out a memo and asked that in lue of flowers, the employees gave up one of their vacation days. In the end, this young man with a newborn and a toddler was given 11 months of paid leave. What an incredible act of kindness! But I digress.....
Women have different reasons for staying on a leave or returning to work. We, as women, must make our own decisions for the best interest of our families.
Thank you for this wonderful post.
Sara
www.createplaylearn.com