member for 32 weeks 6 hours
I know that many times my opinions about all sorts of things are rarely popular. This has been the truth for me, my entire life. I am not a stranger to criticism, disagreements, and debates.
Much of what I debate or critique are things I see in the public arena. Politicians, entertainers, movies, etc. In some way I believe that scrutinizing such things is fair game, because it is out there for all to see. That is what we are supposed to do-especially when it comes to things/people we are supposed to vote for!
Lately as I have expressed my thoughts about things, I have experienced what suspect are very personal attacks in regards to my opinions. My favorite was my hairstyle being judged as worse than "the wigs of working girls on the Las Vegas strip."
I have thick skin. I really do. I promise that the comments posted will not cause me to lose one second of sleep. However, the question remains for me and the AlphaWomen on this site. "What do you want from this site?" It is certainly possible for us to create a site where we can post hot topics and then rip each other to shreds in order to prove our points. Believe me, I can rip with the best of them. But I really don't want to do that. I really hoped this site could be a place where there truly is an exchange of ideas similar to the philosophers in Greece who met in the metropolis to discuss the issues of the day.
There have been many women who have posted thoughtful and opposing views in response to my posts, and I hope the same can be said on my behalf. They have allowed me to grow, either by helping me see a different way of looking at things, or by helping me realize my own needs for better, more effective communication skills. I can't stress enough how open I am to that.
Since this site relies on user generated content, we are at a unique position to shape what it is all about, and I think that who we are as women will contribute to that shape.
So what are we really about? Are we really interested in rising to the level of being Alpha women, or are we inclined to settle for being nothing more than "Mean Girls?"
(Reference from the movie "Mean Girls")
Comments
Login or register to post a commentI think that internet
I think that internet communication can be challenging because you are not sitting across the table from eachother watching facial expressions and tone fluctuations. I agree about the hair remark, that was a direct attack and unnecessary.
I for one like yor firey red hair! It was a cheap shot but she was defending the remark you made about Palins hair style. If we throw stones we best be prepared to have them thrown back at us.
Wars have been started over politics and religion. These topics are so sensitive and personal. I also see women challenging your beliefs and statements as well.
Some very good points have been made in this debate and I think everyone is being challenged. I am learning a lot! We all need to learn not to take things so personally.
Opinions are like assholes everyone has one.
Great Post!
XOXO,
Freda
Founder
www.AlphaWomen.com
"Those Who Say It Can't Be Done Need To Get Out Of The Way Of Those Who Are Doing It!"
I totally agree about the
I totally agree about the internet communication challenge. It is very tricky to communicate sarcasm, irony, and humor when such things rely on the context in which they are delivered as well as knowing the person's personality. -Which are obviously hard to convey sometimes.
I am increasingly surprised to hear that people read my post as an attack on Palin's hairstyle or eating habits. I could care less about either! I was just stating my limited knowledge of her which was dependent on first glance observations.
I never once said that her 1987 hairstyle was ugly or made her an incompetent pick, but it seems like that's how the post was read which is surprising to me.
I know not to take stuff like this personally. I hope that others don't take it personally when I criticize public figures or policies.
Thanks Freda, for providing the forum.
Mean Girls? No. Heated discussion? Yes.
Beauty Mark-
When I was growing up and to my great frustration, politics and money were never discussed in company. And, it's still true that people shy away from discussing politics because so many of us are (rightly) passionate about their political beliefs.
I've been following this forum for several months and am delighted to see participants begin to take on increasingly serious issues. You've been a driver in that evolution and I always read your posts with interest although I don't often agree with you on political or economic issues. I do, however, agree with many of your social positions.
I hope this forum will continue to attract serious commentary on serious issues. And I hope you will continue to be a driver in that process.
My sense is that Freda wants nothing to do with personal attacks on this site. I know I don't. But I do enjoy the provocative posts that reflect your undoubtedly strong personality.
Keep it up. Who wants drivel? Not me. Remember, the best writers are the ones who stir it up a little. Keep stirring.
Serious commentary-that's the stuff I'm after!!!
Serious commentary-GOOD!!!
Thanks for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
Norma, I am delighted to see
Norma, I am delighted to see your growing participation and interest in this site. I do really enjoy these more challenging conversations. As for the personal attacks, we should be accepting of people, faults and all, but offer (and take) constuctive critisism where we can. Personal attacks take away from the message you are trying to get across and waters down your message possibly destroying all credibility of the writer! I think many feel the same way! I like people and respect people who fight fair.
Great Post!
XOXO,
Freda
Founder
www.AlphaWomen.com
"Those Who Say It Can't Be Done Need To Get Out Of The Way Of Those Who Are Doing It!"
Thanks, Freda
Thanks, Freda--That's a nice thing to say. I think you're creating something special here. Congratulations.
Beautymark I have been
Beautymark I have been provoked to find out more about Sara Palin so keep provoking. As far as the mean girl comment goes I think you might be a little more sensitive than you think.
Well it is certainly very
Well it is certainly very gratifying to think that I may be provoking others to investigate an issue. I can't think of a better compliment. (I hope I am not being presumptuous here.)
I think I am pretty self aware, and I know when I am being overly sensitive. I am pretty confident that this is not one of those times. I have had a lot of opposition on my posts since I've been a blogger. Some people oppose harshly and I don't have a problem with that, I actually enjoy it. Many people do that without omparing me to a Las Vegas prostitute and they don't flat out call me ignorant. I think any normal person would take offense to such things.
Your assessment of the post being nasty and petty is certainly an opinion you are entitled to have. I think you missed the tone, intent, and point of the post though. I think the way I presented it is partly to blame for that, as well as the difficulties in presenting sarcasm in print. Lesson learned on my part.
I appreciate your feedback and will certainly keep "provoking" ;-.)
There were some passionate
There were some passionate thoughts being expressed but I don't think alphawoman.com is mean spirited. You said some pretty harsh things about Sara Palin and other women responded in kind. Let's not get rough and then call time because some one responded in kind. You have got me thinking and comming back to the site just to see what's going on. Keep it up - you stimulate the grey matter.
Beautymark I got curious and
Beautymark I got curious and read some of your other bloggs. I had to laugh about the doggie yoga and I loved the one about the wishing trees being weighted down with wishes. If you are near the trees put a wish for everyone to be safe from the hurrican in the golf. I hope you get published because I would read your book. I wish I could write the way that some of the women on this site do. I'll be content with the fact that some write and some read. I like to read.
Thanks jm119! That is a
Thanks jm119! That is a very good wish! I think I will do that tonight!! Great idea.
Yes, many women on this site are gifted beyond measure.
Thanks for reading!
I did not say any harsh
I did not say any harsh things about Sarah Palin. Whoever got that impression misunderstood my post. I do take responsibility for not being clear in that regard, but I did not say anything harsh about her.
I merely stated facts that I got off of the internet and the news.
I also never suggested that alphawoman.com was mean spirited.
Everyone......stop and take
Everyone......stop and take a deep breath! Let's all try to argue fair and also see other's view points. These are some very very hot topics but just think we might all change as a result or at least think a bit different with broader perspectives on these challenging issues!
Great Post!
XOXO,
Freda
Founder
www.AlphaWomen.com
"Those Who Say It Can't Be Done Need To Get Out Of The Way Of Those Who Are Doing It!"