member for 24 weeks 4 days
My eyes are leaking... They have been leaking for a week straight, and I don't know what to do to stop. I find moments of the day to occupy my mind on something happy, and I smile for a couple of seconds, but as soon as I'm alone I can hear the sound of my heart breaking and my eyes start pouring again. Sometimes I think my inner self enjoys seeing me suffer, and I hate the scared little girl that has taken control of the grown up woman I believed I was. I fall apart with every single trouble I find on my everyday road, and the obstacles I used to change into stepping stones to challenge myself into jumping higher seem now impossible to climb. I have lost interest in many things I found endulging before and my mind's focus level is that of a regular patient in a white empty room at a mental institution... I hate to say I'm depressed. The term sounds so cold that I can't find it related to what I'm feeling inside... What upsets me the most is the cause of this desolation... damned to hell love.
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Login or register to post a commentDry Your Eyes
Hey Girl,
It will be ok. I know it will. Now, dry your eyes, go out and get some sunshine. Plan a gathering with your girlfriends and have the time of your life. They will surely be just what you need to perk back up again. Take care, ok.
All my love,
Christie
http://youfabulousyou.com
Thank you Christy... You
Thank you Christie... You don't know how much it means to me knowing that someone actually cares about other people's pain. This world has become such a materialistic cold place where you can literally see a crature dying on the sidewalk and most people will walk by it without doing anything to help... This place needs more people like you that will take two minutes of their life to put a ray of hope on somebody else's heart. Given the fact that I don't have many friend's shoulders to cry on (Thanks to my awful habit of dedicating myself completely to the person I love and forgetting about outside-my-relationship friends) I thank the Lord for putting this website on my path, with good people like you to keep people like me from losing all sanity...
Stay Strong
My heart really goes out to you! I hope everything is okay! Stay strong - things will get better.
I just read your recent post
I just read your recent post about men by Oprah... It's like a list of things I've done wrong my whole life! I'm so glad to have read it... I'm going to print it out and carry it around and read it every time I feel my will is getting weak. I want to pass it on to friends and family too. We all need an eye opener once in a while...
Thank you very much!
I know what you are
I know what you are saying... I've been there too and right now I'm still trying to get myself to a better place.
Glad it helped!
A hug
Here's a virtual hug. I hope it helps even just a little.
I'm sorry you're so sad but emotions can get overwhelming. Think of something or do something silly that you enjoy or that makes you laugh - not smile - laugh and laugh and laugh till your tummy hurts and you forget why you're laughing!
If you need a suggestion - look at the scene toward the end of little Ms Sunshine (Olive) is on stage at the beauty pageant and does the dance her grandfather taught her...
Cheer up
xoxo Anje
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" -
Marilyn Monroe
It's funny... just yesterday
It's funny... just yesterday I sent a message to a friend I haven't seen since new year's eve telling him I needed a hug... Thank you anje
My heart goes out to you L_B
And I appreciate you sharing an intimate part of yourself. Because unless you've been there, sometimes people don't understand that feeling of spiraling downward and out of control -- Especially when they're snuggled up every night with their husband/boyfiend or s/o.
We all just want to love and be loved. And that feeling of lost (or longing) can truly effect every other area of your life (and your perspective).
Hang-in there and I hope that you find the courage to seek help (for the dreaded D word).
lvshudiva
"There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I suppose I should seek
I suppose I should seek professional help... I guess crying so much is not normal after all... Thank you for your support Ivshudiva
I suppose I should seek
I suppose I should seek professional help... I guess crying so much is not normal after all... Thank you for your support Ivshudiva
Unless you have a tear duct
Unless you have a tear duct problem I don't think there is anything wrong with crying when you feel broken. It takes courage to cry. I wish sometimes I could release more easily that way.
For example: No matter how much I miss my b/f when he's gone. The minute I see him when he's back I'm happy for 2 minutes and then I wanna slap him for making me miss him! lol
Take the time and let it go...you are probably doing more good than harm for yourself right now. Don't worry - when you start to smell yourself and your eyes are so puffy you scare yourself in the mirror - then you've cried too much
xoxo Anje
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" -
Marilyn Monroe
I don't think crying
I don't think crying too much is the issue...I agree with Anje, you probably need to get that out. And opening the flood gates can make you feel light after the release. I guess my concern is that once you dry your eyes, you are able to express yourself and talk through your issues with someone who can help you sort out your feelings. There's nothing wrong with experiencing the pain, if at the end you understand the lesson (and can move on).
Take care of you!
lvshudiva
"There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer." - Ralph Waldo Emerson