Slumber_Parties... member for 15 weeks 4 days Send a message

So I've been married to my dear husband for 3 years now. Life with him has been great. We have the typical american dream life, with two beautiful children, great jobs and a wonderful house. The only problem is, and it only seems to affect me, is the other side of the house.. the in-law suite.

Now, last year when my husband's brother passed away unexpectedly, we didn't want his mother living alone. We played with the idea of buying a mother/daughter house, but never really took it seriously.

One day we were driving back from his sister Chrissy's and noticed that the beautiful house on the corner was for sale! The next day we called an agent to see what it looked like. So my husband, his mother and I walked in and it was like the heavens shined down and the angels were signing. Talk about amazing. This was...my...dream...house.

The agent opened up a door off the living room and said, "And over here is the in-law suite!" All of us looked at one another and smiled. Nothing had to be said, we just new that this was meant to be! 3 months later, we moved into OUR DREAM HOUSE!

Things were great the first month or so. No complaints. Then I noticed a picture on the wall that I hadn't put there. I didn't really bat an eye. Then when it came time for Christmas decorating, I saw there were some decorations on my side of the house that weren't mine. I shrugged it off, "Mom's simply trying to keep her mind off our first Christmas without Brian." Understandable, we were all feeling on edge.

Over the next few weeks, mom kept coming over onto our side of the house, no knock, no warning, just as if it's her own place. I let it go. But when she invited people over to MY house for Christmas, after we already had certain plans, I got upset. It caused a little scuff, but it was soon forgotten.

I told my husband, Jeff, how I was feeling about this situation, and he said to let everything go until after the 1 year of his brother's death. Not a problem.

After the 1 year anniversary came, I thought that Jeff would've said something. Well, it became obvious he didn't. To this day, things STILL have not changed. She is coming over any time she pleases and I have no privacy here. None.

I am a very private person, not to mention moody. I don't like seeing people other than my husband and kids everyday. I don't like to be asked how I'm feeling, and when I reply that I'm in a bad mood because "enter something the kids did, a bill that came in that i didn't expect, or anything that would upset/anger/irk me here" happened, get laughed at. She laughs everything off. I hate it.

So yeah, the privacy is a big issue of mine. I don't like the fact that if I wanted to waltz around in lingerie, I couldn't. If I wanted to make love to my husband in front of the fireplace, there's a risk of her walking in. If I simply wanted to nap on the couch if I had the opportunity, I'd get woken up if she came over.

Next thing - MY kids are MY kids. Whatever I say goes...or does it? I'm completely disregarded here. If I say no juice or sweets after 7pm, you would think that his mother would listen right? Nah, my 2 year old son comes back from over by her with sweets 8 out of 10 times. If I say that 8.30 is bedtime, it's "No, he needs to spend time with his father." Are you the one dealing with his snotty attitude in the morning because he's tired? Because Jeff "was potty trained at 18 months", she thinks that Jaycee should be, too. EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT. Stop comparing our kids. I hate that crap.

Oh God, and dinner. Now I love cooking, but it shouldn't be expected of me to cook dinner for her every night. WTF, I don't even cook for myself half the time. Sometimes I just like popping something into the microwave and be done with it. I'm also fond of eating leftovers, and not throwing away $50 of food a week because she likes to eat fresh every night.

When she comes over, 4.30 on the dot every afternoon, the first words out of her mouth after "how are you today?", is "So have you thought about what "we're" making for dinner?"..Excuse me, "we're" implies "us"... Although, she has made dinner a handful of times now, I think she is starting to realize that I don't like to have to cook all the time.

Other things that aggravate me is the fact that I never get any credit. I watch the kids, (attempt to) clean the house, make dinner, do laundry AND I have a part-time job (yeah, so what it's only doing parties, I still make $400 a party). But it's my husband who gets all the credit for "working so hard". That's all she ever says is "Jeff works sooo hard".. Okay mom, seriously? He will tell you to his face,(most likely with alcohol on his breathe, cause at his job they go out for drinks constantly) that he doesn't work that hard. That he would rather work than stay home and do what I do, that he could never handle it.

So now, our weekends and/or free time consist of fixing up our house because she's invited family to come stay..Not on HER side of the house, in OURS. How do you do that without consulting us? ME, especially, since I cook, clean and will have to change my entire day to have them stay here.

Oh and let's not even get into the yard work. HIRE A FREAKIN' LANDSCAPER! SERIOUSLY! It's not fair that you make my husband do all this crap, he's not superman! Stop buying tv's for your house, gazebos and whatnot, and put it towards a landscaper. We live on 3/4 acre of property. Trees. Bushes. The whole deal. So instead of hiring someone, we had to buy a freakin tractor to do the work. Instead of my husband playing with his kids on the weekends, he's stuck mowing the lawn. How is this fair? By the time we're done cleaning up LAST FALL'S leaves and mess, we're going to have to do it all over again.

I'm stuck. I don't know what to do anymore! I've asked my husband to repeatedly talk to her, but to no avail. How long should I have to suffer, and should it really be left to me to have to say something? I'm so close to screaming, I can't do this much longer.

So I told my husband the other night..."I didn't realize when I married you, I also married your mother." No response, either.

Help me out ladies, any advice would be appreciated.