JustineCase member for 30 weeks 2 days

Much has evolved since my last blog about all of this... one correction I must make was that the coach who made the comment at the teachers meeting actually works at a local college and not the school my kids attend... it doesn't make the situation any different to me because he was addressing the teachers at our school and found zero opposition. So either they were too mortified to speak or they agreed. Either way, there is something missing.

So I proceeded to go "sit" on my proverbial rock and ponder my next move. First congratulating myself for not going with my knee jerk reaction of yanking my kids out of the school and giving the principal a piece of my mind... no more drama, just effective reactions and move forward. Oh my god, I must be growing up.

I believe that there are no "mistakes" in our lives... good and bad we experience the things we experience because we are supposed to grow and evolve through them. This is a big thorn for me... I have had extreme insight to the hypocrisy of the "church" that has never effected my relationship with God, but tarnished the reputations of the men and women who stand before me as a "gateway" to him.

I am also not an intensely provocative spiritual person, it is my very personal relationship with God and I feel no need to cram my views down anyone else's throat without them first asking for my counsel or my opinion.

I also sell intimacy compacts for a living. I do not have a problem with sex before marriage as long as the two people are adult enough to make their own choices and accept any consequences that go along with it. Maybe I am my own hypocrisy, but I think most of the "rules" outside of the 10 commandments have a bit of sociological and political motivation behind them, and weren't necessarily God's particular rules. Although part of the commandments state that you shall not covet your neighbors slaves... I'm thinking even the 10 commandments have fallen prisoner to man and his interpretations - The debate on the Ten Commandments should be another blog - I digress...

So I decided to turn around and face these issues of mine head on. I attended a meeting this morning called "Moms in Touch"... thinking it would be a group of moms from the school who will get together and help out with the school. When we were introduced to what the group was about, I was told that it was a prayer group where moms get together and pray for the children, the school/faculty, and the parents... again my knee jerk reaction was to run, but I sat there and thought to myself... "prayer is energy, positive energy to fill in the gaps with hope and love, hang out and see where this goes..."

Well, because I don't believe that there aren't any mistakes or accidents, I have decided to stay with the group and we will be meeting every Monday. I'm sure as I get to know these women that I will receive a few raised eyebrows when they find out that I am an AIDS/HIV, women's health activist and sell intimacy compacts... I believe it is my calling to put a "normal" face on the issue here in my own community. I say "normal" because I am a relatively conservative person in my own life, I am not loud, I am not the activist they show on TV who shouts and can't listen, and who can't hold a very logical well thought-out conversation that can end with a respectful disagreement.

So I went to the store and bought a bible.

I know this is right, because there is a tinge of fear coupled with some excitement of where this path will take me.

So pray for me, send your good thoughts, because it is the judgment I will face, but what I get to take home is the fact that I can give a voice to those who so desperately need to be heard in this tight circle almost impenetrable by outsiders. Funny enough the principal shared with us her vision of the school... a thorny brier that encloses us and protects us from the outside ungodly influences... sometimes those ungodly influences are just facts and people... nothing more nothing less...