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My 10 year old twins had a play date at their new friend Peter's house last week. When they arrived home I asked them if they had a good time. They answered, "Mom, Peter's house is so much bigger than ours!" "That’s great, but did you have a good time?" "Mom, you can't believe how big Peter's house is and he has so much stuff in it. He has a huge plasma TV, XBox 360, Wii and a PSP. They are so rich!”
What I wanted to say and what I did say are two different things. I wanted to say, Peter’s parents are up to their eyeballs in credit card debt (his mom actually told me this!). So of course they can afford all that “stuff” when they just throw it on a credit card.
Well, I decided to restrain myself and give them the typical speech. I’m sure you know the one…being rich isn’t about money, it’s about having your health, your family and giving to people in need; money doesn’t buy happiness; it doesn’t matter how much is in your pocket, what counts is what is in your heart and everyone has different priorities in life and we shouldn’t make judgments. That ought to work, right?
But here is the scary thing; there are many families like Peters’ out there. And this influences our children every day. Here are some facts; the total amount of consumer debt (not including mortgage debt) was $2.46 trillion in June 2007. Based on the US median household income of $43,200 in 2007, the average family's credit card balance is roughly 5% of that. And in 2007, 8.3% of US households owed $9,000 + on their credit cards. (Source: Creditcards.com, Federal Reserve). That’s a lot of “stuff”!
So what do you tell your kids when you see their values becoming materialistic based on peers? I guess there’s my favorite line I forgot to mention above…“If it’s so great at Peter’s house, then go live there!”
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Well, I did see last evening on the news that credit card use slowed in April so perhaps people are learning from the past.
Peter's house
What a great post...I ALWAYS have the same conversations with my kids and my replies vary from time to time(Including the one about them living over there LOL).I usually just simply say "Well that's nice".I always try to get my boys to focus on what's going on in our house and not to compare themselves to others.Whenever I catch my self explaining why we don't have or live like others I feel like I'm walking that fine line of judging others and that's a whole other conversation that we have to frequently also.How sad is it that we live in a world where there are people dying of starvation and we need to explain why we don't have the Wii & the PS3.But if we continue to have these conversations with our kids I believe that in their heart they understand(Eventually anyway LOL).
1vida
1vida
It's your life...How do you live it better yet...Dress for it?
I agree. I had those
I agree. I had those conversations many times with my son and still do today. Especially when he was younger all the other kids had so much stuff. I was a single mom and couldn't afford all of it, that being said, I didn't want all of it either. I would constantly volunteer and take my son to join me in taking food to the homeless, stack pantry's in shelters and volunteer to feed the homeless too.
All this was a great experience for my son to see how so many other people live an although we didn't have a lot of the stuff, we didn't really need it either.
I always hated Christmas and Birthdays because of all the unnecessary toys. I finally just really got specific with friends, family and others on what Zach could have and couldn't. I hated the materialism and consumerism that masked the true meaning behind birthdays and Christmas, for me anyway.
It is fun to be able to have the money to have cool toys that create some really steller memories and moments but it doesn't create happiness and being in debt kills most romance and kindness towards one another. It just isn't worth it to try and keep up with the Joneses!
Great Post,
xoxo,
Freda
Thanks for the replies...I
Thanks for the replies...I certainly agree...we need to keep our lives in perspective and be thankful for what we have. We can't give up teaching our kids...it's a daily focus.