Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 50 weeks Send a message

I recently was interviewed for an article called "More Money, More Problems" for Chicago's "RedEye" regarding dating and the successful woman. The interviewer wanted to know if being successful in any way hindered my ability to find a date or a possible life partner. In addition, she also asked whether I would be able to date a guy who made less money than me and, if I had the means to financially support both of us, would it bother me to support him?

I have put a lot of thought into that subject and I responded with a Yes and No answer. I don't think it is that easy or black and white to arrive at meaningful decision. So, I am going to offer up my opinion on this subject because this is a growing trend amongst 21st century women who are more educated, more successful and achieving a great deal more than their male counterparts. More and more women are the primary bread winners and the roles are reversing. How does this impact our society as we know it? How are women handling this new found success, and role as primary bread winner? How is it impacting their ability to find eligible bachelors and potential life partners? Are women offended by this role reversal, I mean after all, men have been taking care of us financially for years! Now that the shoe is on the other foot, are we women going to get snobby about it?

First, let me start out with this: I am not your typical woman because I am more entrepreneurial minded, more business oriented and have a lot more testosterone running through my veins and because of this, I think more like a guy than a woman. With that being said, I was silent for a minute as I gathered my thoughts. I then began addressing each of her questions with the utmost sincerity.

I think each relationship comes with a different set of circumstances and a different personality. While in one relationship I would be okay with taking the lead, in many others, it has turned me off and as a result, I took off.

For me, it is not about the money, yet--it is. I mean, money is nice to have. It doesn't make you happy, but it sure can make life a whole lot more easy and fun. That being said, I believe that you know you really love someone when they lose everything and they are as they came into the world. When they are stripped of material possesions and money and you still want to grow old with them and hold their hand - then you really have something. Of course, any guy I would choose couldn't remain down for long or I wouldn't remain around. What I mean by that is this: he would figure out a way to get back on his feet, regardless of what he ended up doing. He wouldn't wallow in self pity and drag his feet. That is what makes the difference. It is not that I wouldn't date a man who was broke, but rather, if he likes being broke and has no ambition other than lying around drinking and watching t.v. all day--well, that wouldn't work for me.

I am glad that our society as a whole is shifting from traditional way of thinking to embracing strong, successful women who are taking on many leadership roles. Men have been raised by these phenomenal women and are more attracted to her than ever before. Even better, successful men are no longer finding her a threat to their ego or feeling it's necessary to enter into a power struggle. They like having someone who understands how hard it is to make a buck.

In a recent issue of "Psychology Today," an article entitled The New Trophy Wife explored how more and more men are finding a safe haven in an equal partnership where both are partaking in the financial responsibilities. I think people in general are getting smarter about what they want from their relationships. They are realizing that what might work for one relationship, might not work for another. In addition, for every single Alpha Woman in the world, I will show you about ten very dysfunctional traditional marriages that I wouldn't wish on my enemy.

So, really, what it comes down to is this--don't blame your singleness on your success, intelligence or your strength. That is too shortsighted. After all, there are men out there who would give their left nut to be with you. More importantly, you need to make sure he is what you want. If you think he is going to change, then you should run, don't walk. If you don't like someone as they are when you meet them, there is a good chance that you won't like them two years later either! Additionally, look at your "must have" list and "need" list and make sure it is realistic. After all, everyone is human and if you are looking for perfection or completion in a mate, those are an entire set of issues that are completely unrelated to your success.