member for 42 weeks 4 days
I have a question. I was with my sons father for eight years, and just seperated from him last year. When I decided to leave, I asked him about child support. Trying to do the right thing, I told him he could just give me 100.00 a week, 400.00 a month and that would be sufficient enough. He in return told me that he could not afford that, which is a lie because he makes over 50K a year.
I lowered the amount to 50.00 a week, which is nothing compared to the cost of living now. He agreed and was doing real good. He recently has found a girlfriend and she is pregnant. She already has 4 kids, so this will be number 5. Since he met her he has not given me anything. I asked and he says he does not have it. I feel I have been more than patient with him. I found out yesterday that him and the girl is no onger together, but she is still pregnant.
My thought is that she is going to take him for child support, and if I dont do it first I wont get what I deserve. I have taken alot of verbal abuse from after the break up, and I still cant pull myself to take him to child support. My most fear is that he will stop communicztion with my son and I could not live with myself if that happens. I feel like why is he exempt from taking care of his responsiblities? This is what he is suppose to do.
I need some advise and some support, I have to go and get a copy of my sons birth certificate on tuesday. If I build up enough nerve to do that, then the process starts.
Comments
Login or register to post a commentMy honest opinion is to quit
My honest opinion is to quit being so patient and understanding. He obviously knows that you are being "easy" on him and he's taking full advantage of that. You give him an inch, he'll take a mile. Just because he has money doesn't mean that he'll pay. Hell, that's an extra 50 bucks a week in his pocket. You know what I mean? About your son, if he is a good father, he'd want to see your son regardless of the situation with you. My opinion is try to negotiate one more time. If he refuses, take him to court and get what he owes you. Maybe even look into get a CORRECT and CONSISTENT amount of money while you are at it.
At this point in time, do what's best for YOU and your child. Don't worry about him. Hope everything works out for you!
Run DO NOT walk to the nearest courts
and fight for what your child deserves! No more negotiating b/c there is no "right thing" when it comes to a man not meeting his obligation to his children. This is about your child. And men pull that "I don't have it" bullshit, b/c they know we are weak (always wanting to do what appears equable) and that as women, we will do whatever is necessary to take care of our children. B/C isn't it amazing that we "don't have it" either, but we make it work!!
My daughter just went through this and it took her 4 years to get one dime (even after a court order). And like you, she was concerned that her child's father would take less interest in her son b/c of her actions. Which he did. But a man who would stoop that low will do it anyway...child support is just his excuse. Your child is better off not being around him anyway! And I realize it does hurt when you look into that child's innonce face and realize what this fool is missing. But the fact that he continues to have babies without consequences is b/c he has been allowed to get away with it. Go to court and get yours b/f there is nothing left to get!
My heart and prayers are with you. What a good (and courageous) post!
lvshudiva
"There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer." - Ralph Waldo Emerson