How do you let go once you recognize the relationship is over?

Freda:

That is a great question. Carefully! There is no right or wrong answer to this question. If you spend any amount of time in the "self-help" section of any book store you will be bombarded with so much conflicting information which can leave you even more depressed and full of angst then when you walked in!

I suggest that you distract your mind as much as you possibly can. Get out, join a health club, join a club, and get distracted. The sooner you can start distracting your mind the less time you will spend on dwelling and pining over lost love and who know's maybe that is all you needed to do in the first place and you work things out. Many people loose themselves so much in relationships that they become so routine and boring, each person stops growing, and is boring.

Sometimes, we stay stuck in a bad relationship when we don't even like the person all that much because it is about them rejecting us more than is about our love for them. I listened to a great CD by Dr. George Pranksy this year regarding "How To Deal With Trauma." Letting go of someone you love can be traumatic for many of us. To some it is like loosing your left leg or arm, we feel as if we won't be able to function as a whole person without the other person.

Your mind is so incredibly powerful that you can summon up emotions from years past if you dwell in that place. It will feel as if you are actually reliving that moment. Some people stay stuck in that moment for a very long time and then wake up one day realizing how much time they have wasted dwelling in the past and how many opportunites they closed themselves off to.

Distracting yourself is the best way, in my opinion, of dealing with loss. That is why so many people who loose their children start foundations, organizations and many amazing programs. They needed a distraction or the pain of the loss would consume them completely giving them no hope to live.

So, really make an effort to fill your time with possibilities which will turn into new opportunities and maybe even a new mate. This is a very simple response to a rather difficult topic, but every moment spent in the past is a moment lost in the present!

There are many fish in the sea if you keep your eyes wide open rather than shut.

I know from experience!