anjewoodruffe member for 33 weeks 1 day Send a message

This has been a weekend let me tell you! As usual, I have been trying to mind my own business but I happened to finish reading "Killing Johnny Fry" so I was at a stand still for in-motion material. Nonetheless, while trying to be a good yogi and send out as much positive vibes as possible and chant my personal sex, love and money mantras, my mood kept getting interrupted by some seemingly presentable but uncivilized people who needed a lesson in personal hygiene.

On my way home on the train last Friday, I was privy to a sound that crawls my blood – it's right up there with nails on chalkboard except it was a man, fully dressed in a suit, clipping his fingernails! I'm sorry – but that is just nasty. Either go to the nail salon or do that at your house, over your sink or a paper towel and then dispose of it. You do not go into a public place with thousands of commuters and "clip clip" during a rush hour commute and just drop your nasty ass cuticles all over the damn floor. Sometimes I think there are people that fell from trees because there is no way they could have parents who raised them with those kinds of habits. Nasty Ass.

On Sunday, while attending one of the pre-showcases for Fashion Week at the Westin, this lady pushed her way past me to get a better seat. Ok Ms. Rudy. Then she insisted on talking through the whole runway show while sitting-standing-sitting-standing with the world's most tremendous armpit odor that you can imagine from a street-side bum (except she was wearing Chanel). I came to see a Fashion show - not listen to chitter chatter in my ear like a bloody buzzing mosquito, with bad breath and stinky pits. Shut the f-up! And for crying out loud, if you have the audacity to wear Chanel – someone along the way should have told you, that BO is not an acceptable accessory! Might I suggest "Lady Speed Stick?" Nasty Ass.

Last night at the hair salon, I was pissed off - despite the fact that it was $12 Mondays (+$2 for deep condition). There was a teenager, no older than 15, who, for two hours communicated with her girlfriend in the following manner: " who the f- told that n-gga …f-that b-tch…mutha-f-er …s-ck my f-ing hole….shit…ass…. ". You get the point. Furthermore, in a moment of complete realization of her quagmire boca loca she had the nerve to say to her friend, " a woman said to me that I should not be swearing so much for a pretty young lady. Man – f-that bitch". I see she got the point. In Trinidad they would say her mouth needed to be washed out with soap and lime. Nasty Ass.

This morning, I saw a pretty young lady on the train doing her makeup and I gave her mad Kudos for being able to manipulate eye liner with one hand on a moving train. Unfortunately, I had to remove the kudos seconds later when she sharpened her eyeliner pencil and dropped the shavings onto the floor when she had tissue right on her lap. I wanted to ask her if she was one of those people who didn't wrap her maxi pads before she threw them out, but I held my tongue. Nasty Ass.

Comeon people! Why don't we all just pull out our razors and shave our armpit hair and our legs on the train if we're in a rush? Why don't we drop our drawers and trim our pubes into cute triangles while waiting in line at Walmart? You know – I've always wondered what it would taste like to dig boogers out of my nose and eat it…and then if I didn't like it – flick it onto the next least suspecting passerby. As for the hotdog stand guy – you know he's peed a 100 times and not washed his hands. Or did he? Because you would does it mean he did?

Good hygiene is important for good physical and emotional well being. You must look and smell the part to play the part and keep the privates in private! Please.

Wash your hands with soap.

Wash your hair.

Brush your teeth.

Take a shower.

Clean your bellybutton.

Clean your ears preferably with a Q-tip and not a paper clip or a hair pin.

Use deodorant.

Trim your nails – at home or at a salon, not in public places.

Take Beano if you have gas or stay away from the broccoli and the raisins. Don't fart on people in public just because they don't know you and you think a SBD (silent but deadly) goes unnoticed- it doesn't! Innocent people get blamed for your nasty ass.

I'm not saying we are perfect all the time but we know better and we can do better (unless you are from Alaska). Our brain and our ability to think separates us from animals so can we please stop acting like them. And one other thing: if you call yourself a friend, don't let your girlfriend leave the house with cameltoe. Big no-no.