Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

Wow, never in my life did I imagine that this website endeavor would take me down the path that I am on today. I am certainly paying my dues. I am super optimistic, way above realistic and therefore I have dreams and expectations that almost can't be realized. I suffer from a bad case of not measuring my results from where I have come from, but instead, by the desired, unachievable result. These past few months have really taught me many lessons about life. I CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING! This is so disappointing to me. I want the outcome that I have pictured in my head. I can't even say that has ever happened once in my life. You would think that after several years of this, I would have gotten it, but I keep doing it. AHHH. The first step to change is realizing what you are doing wrong! I am halfway there.

With that said, I have learned to expect great things, dream big dreams but allow life to take its own shape and go with it. When one door closes, another door opens. Currently, I am going through negotiating a short sale on my home. I have had it listed since March 1st of this year. I put a ton of money into the house to fix it up the way I would like it and then I realized that I didn't belong in the suburbs. I belong in the city and this website development has my full resources and undivided commitment. I am not about to pull the plug prematurely. So, like many things in life, I had to make a decision.

Up until March of this year, I was in the mortgage industry and it was great. In my first three months of business on my own, I pulled in about $150,000. It was exciting, it was fun, it was exhausting. Our second quarter was harder, but, we still did well. The third quarter is when the bottom dropped out of the entire industry. I will never forget the end of February when almost 60 wholesale lenders closed their doors across the nation and went under. My friends and colleagues were getting laid off by the thousands. They went from making $100K to $300k to virtually nothing. There were no jobs in that industry available. It was scary to see this happening to good people. What do you do? Is it there fault? How do you manage your life when you are used to making $100k+ and go to nothing? Furthermore, what do you do when the only jobs available include starting over from scratch in an entirely different industry?

Luckily for me, I have learned to live with nothing and I have lived with a lot. I have been on both sides of the fence. I admit, I like the "other side" of the fence better. Life tends to offer so many great things to you, but I don't necessarily think that you are happier. In fact, interestingly enough, I read last year that people who have a HHI between $75k to $100k are much happier than those who are making two to five times more, and of course, those who are living at poverty levels.

I have seen both sides and neither side scares me. My father taught me at an early age to be thankful no matter what situation you are in. And if you can't put all of your belongings in the back of a U-haul truck, well then you just have too much junk! He was born and raised during the Great Depression, so he has the right to speak of such things.

I remember as a little girl on Christmas Day, him on the phone crying and pleading with the person on the other line to, "hang in there with him, to give him some time." My father never cried, so this always stood out in my mind. When I got older, I asked him about the incident and he said, "times were really tough and he was pleading with the guy to give him some time on paying a crane payment he was falling behind on." The guy had faith in my father and let him ride it out. My father attributes much of his success to generous hearts who were willing to hang in there with him. They trusted him, and believed in him because he was a man of his word. I have seen him practice such generosity with many of his clients. He has a very trusting and big heart.

He did make it, and today he has one of the most respected crane companies in the Chicagoland area. He said to me the other day when I was beside myself, "Freda, don't give up. If you believe in this, you can do it." He said, "If it were that easy, everyone would be doing it." But, what got me over my self-pity was when he said, "I believe in what you are doing, you just need to find the right investor." He also told me to make a decision about the house and just do it. It hurts, but I will live to tell other people about it and share with them my walk through this life.

More importantly is the example I am trying to set for my son. He is an excellent golfer and has been trying very hard to make the golf team, in addition to dreaming about going pro. He gets very nervous under stress and is unable to perform when all eyes are watching him. He gets very serious and looses the ability to relax and have fun (that is when he shines). Once again, he didn't make it this year. I felt so bad for him, but reassured him that Michael Jordan didn't make the basketball team until his junior year in high school. He is watching my every move and as I go through this uncomfortable life situation, I don't want my walk to be different than my talk. If I give up to self-pity and failure, than what am I speaking about to him? If I can't make it with dignity through hard times and expect rejection and "temporary" set backs, than how in the world is he going to have the confidence to keep trying in life, let alone golf? I have a much greater responsibility at my feet.

I don't know what is going to happen in my situation. I know this is definitely a scary time for many people out there. No one could have really predicted how bad this real estate market was going to get. I have a feeling that it is only going to get worse. For the past several years the economy has been booming forward at a very robust pace, people were making easy money across many industries and we got really comfortable. Now, we face some difficult times ahead with job layoffs, companies closing down and major players in the financial industries going bankrupt in only an hour's notice.

I was sick to my stomach and downright depressed for several weeks wondering what I was going to do and how was I going to manage. I was so incredibly worried that it started to take its toll on me physically, mentally and spiritually. One thing I realized recently is your experience is your reality. I was allowing myself to be consumed by my fear and emotions which in turn created unnecessary stress for things that hadn't even happened yet. My imagination was out of control. I had to reign my fear in and my faith and feelings had to part company.

Yes, some of those fears may indeed become realities but they aren't worth loosing my life over, or losing my health or faith over. I am healthy, my son is healthy, I will live to see another day and I will get out of this valley in due time. I am NOT a failure or do I feel like I have failed. Do I feel bad? Yes, I feel bad. But, if you sit around and feel bad all the time, you won't move forward. Are people going to talk, yeah, but they talk anyway--so what? What matters most, is how YOU look at the situation. No matter what people may say to you or about you, keep your head up. It is one tiny moment in your life and it will make for a great story someday. More importantly; the experience makes you more relatable to other people.

I am actually finding this difficult time in my life a blessing. I am learning and growing personally, professionally and spiritually. I know that when I come out on the other side of this, I will shine much brighter, be stronger and wiser. I am learning not to be afraid of adversity or to be swallowed up by fear. There are two ways to look at life: through a glass half empty or a glass half full. I am thankful that I got to live in such a beautiful house and beautiful community for the past year. I met some terrific people and have some great stories to remember. All in all, I am okay and I will get through this. I am keeping my cool so I can make good decisions about an already difficult situation.