momma_b member for 19 weeks 6 days Send a message

Isn't it amazing how completely your life can change in a matter of minutes. *sigh* where should I begin?

A remember standing in my shower and thinking "my mom is my soul and my dad is my pillar of strength, I don't know what I would do without them" That was about 1 week before it happened.

It was Easter Sunday 2006 I had not too long before called my parents to see how they were going. (my parents use to go to the farm - our land situated in the more rural part of the island - on weekends) Mom had answered the phone and said they were well, they had not too long returned from church and she did not feel like cooking as yet so they had ice-cream for lunch, saying "you know your dad like nothing better"; anyway, I said my goodbyes, saying tell daddy I love him and love you mom, talk to you soon.

About 45mins after I called back - to find out one thing or the other - to a strange male voice answering the phone, I thought I had dialed the wrong number, the person asked who is this I said I am the daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Hawkins. He said "This is Officer Abraham - someone came into the house and stab up your daddy really bad". My mom then came on the phone and said in a really shaky barely audible voice and basically was telling me that my dad was "gone"

I felt as though the entire world had just been pulled from underneath me, I think I had a few minutes of insanity.

How could this have happened?

My sister was called, she and her husband, came over and we went at once. Mom was taken to a health centre, so we went there first. She had blood all over and was in an understandable state. She kept saying she could not save him... (I am crying while writing this)

We went up to the farm, there were cars lining the road and everyone from the nearby village was there. Our house fenced off with yellow "crime scene" tape. We got to go inside just to identify somethings but that was it...

I saw my dad lying on the bed... lifeless. The same bed that as children my sister and I would run to on Christmas morning to open gifts, the same bed I slept in when I was scared and could not sleep.

Someone just came into the house and attacked my father, dad fought back. The man kept saying "red man don't fight back, don't make me have to kill you".

I live now, not looking forward to tomorrow. I live for today. Hoping to have a tomorrow but if it never comes at least I'm not hurt or disappointed.

So many things I wish I had had time to have said but that time has been cut short. I feel cheated out of not having my dad here to walk me down the aisle when or if I ever get married, to be see his grand-daughter, to give me advise when I really need it.

People say time heals all wounds but time does not necessarily "heal". As days go by you just learn how to live life without thinking about it as much.

Everyday I tell my mom how much I love her. I hope that this story can maybe help someone out there who may be angry with a parent or loved one for something trivial, don't live to have regrets... life is too short.