Aphro-ME-siac member for 33 weeks 2 days Send a message

It’s Monday- and already I have received messages asking when my next post is coming.

I wasn’t planning on writing today. Mostly, because I feel I am in a drought.

Seems the camel is not only my new best friend in the dating/sex world but also in writing (you would have to have read my camel post to get that one

I did not go out this week. Nope, stayed in and had some intimate dates with myself.

I tried to get inspired. I bought some wine, cooked some nice dinners (which always makes me feel romantic).

I even went and rented a few foreign films, which I have proclaimed in the past, is the woman’s equivalent to porn. I write about that in my e-book, Aphro-ME-siac: A girl’s guide to the ultimate aphrodisiac, which you can purchase at http://www.aphromesiac.com (shameless plug, I know).

Not to get too deep into that, but foreign films are always laced with eroticism and sensuality. Most do not have the happy Hollywood endings, though there are usually “happy endings” involved somewhere along the lines. And to top it- they actually have men in full monty! (Gasp!!!!) Imagine that…

Still, I am feeling less than inspired. I suppose that is only natural as life comes in ebbs and tides. So must writing.

I did have one conversation this week that was an epiphany of sorts for me. It was with a pilot and we were talking about different crashes that have occurred over time and where the error lies in most of them. He was telling me that when a pilot gets his/her initial license that the next step is to go on to the instrument training.

He explained to me how we all know our balance comes from the fluid in our ears and the little hairs (not going to go into the scientific names for all of this) that determine the movement of that fluid. He went on to say when a pilot is flying and has not learned to conquer the feeling in the body that influences direction, and to solely trust the instrument panel- it is then the pilot runs a serious risk of complete and utter distortion in perception- which turns into a downward spiral in terms of control of the aircraft.

Basically the mind will receive the wrong signals under certain conditions; for example if a pilot has no visual due to clouds and has to bank a hard left, the fluid because of the altitude gets wrongly distributed causing distortion- maybe by the brain thinking it actually made a hard right, this signals the brain an automatic reflex to compensate by banking left again (thinking it had turned right). The brain just keeps on trying to find balance; to fix the situation and gets so turned around there is no getting out of the confusion and the reactions that are now causing the out of control spiral.

You know what this reminds me of?

It reminds me of the first moments of “love”.

That’s one of the things I love about foreign films. Like the French one I just saw last night. This young couple are together and experiencing the passion in each other and along comes this other man and the young guy asks the girl, “ are you in love with Julian(the other man that came along)?” and I am thinking, “In love???? She just met him yesterday.” But that is the beauty of the French and the Italian and other passionate cultures.

Only in America do we have invisible-handbooks of logic for every topic of mankind; a little invisible handbook that dictates how long we know someone before we can “technically” use the word love. How many conversations must be had, how many facts we must know about the other person.

Sometimes I wonder if I was secretly born in another country and smuggled here in infancy;)

Because I run from invisible-handbooks of logic.

But it is these very first moments, when endorphins are being launched like rockets, blasting away at your perception and ability to see reality at times that does indeed cause the crash.

You will do anything and try anything to taste what you are feeling, to bring it into tangible reality.

You will be the fool and lay it all down in the attempts to make sure every last avenue has been exhausted in your pursuit to get those rockets of love launched toward the heart of your intended. To make sure that their heart knows your intentions are of the greatest romance and adoration. To let them know you have set them apart from all the others.

Now, it is in those moments that sometimes it would be good to look at the “instrument panel” just to check in and see what reality is. Whether the person is showing signs that they feel the same, whether there is mutual compatibility and mutual desire to dive into each other.

I don’t think it is so easy to see these things when your brain is swimming and high on endorphins and your hormones are raging and all you see is love, love, love and more love. A beautiful state of being, yes…

But a crash may proceed if not balanced between what is being felt and what the signs of life and the other person are speaking to you.

A lesson I just learned myself. I mean I have known this, but have just recently taken it into full consideration and realized that no one else can be the pilot on my mile high club flights.

Might sound elementary, but for a person who is very, very passionate it has taken some years to take the reins of that passion and in turn, take responsibility of its direction and level of destruction I allow it to create in my life.

I say destruction because passion, if not handled with the respect it deserves, can and will consume all in its path. Like the Tasmanian devil in the cartoons. It comes in with a fury and leaves with a fury and those in its path are caught up in the tailspin and spit out in the end.

That is, unless it is respected with the awe it demands.

Reminds me of the time I was living in Florida and a hurricane (one of many) came through. I sat on my back porch in awe as I watched the trees in my back yard take the brunt of the 100 something mile gusts. I learned a valuable lesson in watching this. Some of the trees went with the gusts and bent as if they were touching the ground in a side bend. Others resisted and snapped on the spot. The ones that were flexible and did not go against the wind are the ones that were left standing.
I remember tears falling down my cheeks that night, at the pure awe of Mother Nature and the beauty that even a storm can bring- even in the midst of destruction.

When it comes to passion, I am learning to bend with it, not resist it. I am learning to balance my feelings with the signs of reality.

There you have my thoughts on this new day and on passion, love and perhaps perception?