member for 15 weeks 2 days
One of my male friends is somewhat disgruntled with me because I told him my greatest fear is to get married and my husband’s equipment will not work. He accused me of being shallow and said that movies like “Sex in the City” take the focus out of the emotion and put it all in the bedroom…
Well – not really!
I have been fortunate (with few exceptions) to have had exceptional sexual partners. Admittedly, that was one of the reasons I found breaking up to be so horrible. I knew what I would be missing and although some parts of who we were didn’t work – some parts were definitely on!
I like a partner who feels an irresistible attraction to me and who loves me the same though 5-10 pounds of weight gain. I am definitely of the “please your man” mentality although I am not exactly doing that unselfishly. My recant to that is “fair exchange is no robbery”. Perhaps I might be more of a nymphet than I care to admit – because the more sex I get, the more I want but I want it with someone specific – not anyone in general. I had a partner once who said to me “but we just had sex two days ago”…and my response was “you’ve eaten at least 6 meals since then”.
Men argue that if you keep having sex then they get bored. There is more than one way to keep a man’s interest sexually (and we all know he’s eyeing the 21-year old, firm and fully packed temp in the lobby which can work to your advantage) but my point really is – when you are dating, the sexual chemistry and desire is always monumental and all I want to do is keep that thread running. I understand that life happens and ok- I can’t have it three times a day but is twice a week too much to ask. Once even?
I know with the pressures of work, exercise, friends and for some, children, trying to fit in an active sex life seems like one more thing to do. It is and I love doing it! We make time for other things that seem less important and although sex may not be of highest importance, it is an important part of keeping your mate happy and satisfied. Do I even care if he is thinking of Daisy Fuentes while he is making love to me – NO?! I don’t care because she isn’t there and I am reaping the benefits of the idea of her. Some say it’s cheating – I think it’s motivational lovemaking.
It’s too bad my friend is upset with me. Truth be known, I think he might have the hots for me but I am not tangible territory to him. Each of us has some kind of phobia – mine just happens to be having a dysfunctional partner. Of course, marriage is more than the consummation but even King Henry V111 would agree, that when one has a need, it needs to be met.
Comments
Login or register to post a commentI couldn't agree more! I am
I couldn't agree more! I am a two times a dayer whenever possible and lately that is all the time. I feel fortunate and lucky to have met someone who has an sex drive equal to mine. I think you are right....the more you do it, the more you want it.
I use to worry about sex getting boring because they say that happens but I think you just take life one day at a time and see what happens. To hard to wonder about all the "what ifs!" When two people really like each other you work those things out. Guys look......heck I LOOK. I think when you can openly talk about it, it takes the mystery and wonder out of it and puts it right out there in the open. It can be scary at first but really when your secure with yourself, it is just an idea and a thought. I get them all the time and never think about acting out on any such thing. I think we need to give guys more credit than they get.
I am so afraid of getting married and the sex going from two times a day to once a quarter. That is scary. In the past, the few guys that I did manage to date, their sex drives were one fraction of mine and it was SOOO frustrating. I felt like a horny toad and they were intimidated by it. It got to the point where I was getting rejected and that is when I started to understand what men go through when we reject them all the time. Because essentially it is withholding something that can be really vital to someone while the other thinks they are over sexed and something is wrong with them.
Sex feels good but it is the connection that goes along with it. I have a deep sexual connection with the guy I am dating. I couldn't imagine going from our current dose of sex to ONCE A WEEK! I would go nuts.
Keep them healthy, keep their diets clean and make sure you exercise together and they will last well into their 70's, possibly 80's with a healthy (maybe slowed down but so will you by then) sex drive and performance.
Great POST!
xoxo,
Freda
Believe me I am 3 years
Believe me I am 3 years married and I have to have it 2x a week! I guess some girls just need it more than others what is wrong with that!
-Jane-
otherwise happy
That is good...
It seems that 2X a week is about average but I see differences in how many times depending on age to. I am 28 and like it about 2X a day but everyone is different. A guy friend of mine once said, "After you see someone naked a few times and have sex with that person a few times, it no longer is such a big deal." It is like you've been there and done that. He said then you start looking at other people and wondering what they look like without clothes on and what it would be like to have sex with them. He wanted to know if women ever look at men and wonder what that guy looks like naked and what it would be like to have sex with that guy. Everyone is different.
Thanks GOD it's not just me!
I keep trying to tell myself it's my age, although I'm 23, but I can't get enough sex. My husband is five years older then me and is convinced I am a Nympho. I went two years of celibacy (meaning only like 1 or 2 times) and so when I met him between the love and the lust (which I haven't had in awhile) I can't get enough of him. I'm talking before work and when we get home. Is that too much to ask? And not to mention he doesn't want to have sex when it's "that time of the month" I'm like "throw a towel down and lets go!" 6 to 7 days we're talking!
He could probably have sex 3-4 times a week which sucks! And we've gone a couple of days then that first time 'back in the sack' is going to last under a minute (MEN!).BUT I've got some tricks to work around that...
... Either way I feel that sex is the answer to everything. We fight! Lets have sex. I'm bored! let's have sex. Thank you! Let's have sex. He says he just needs a break at times, I say well I'll be in the bathroom.
It's nice to see that I'm not the only one and I don't have a problem. I hope that eventually our libidos will be on one accord. Until then...I'll take my frustrations out in blogs!
Vitamin D for 45 Minutes Please
See now... I'm all for the quickie if it's say - my lunch hour and I will admit that I did break up with an ex because our sexual repertoire got reduced to 60 seconds - on a good day. He asked me once (after 5 years of being together)if women really need sex for longer than 8 minutes and I said "oh boy....". It was a short,ugly road. I hate to admit this but soon after that i became disgusted to the point where we would do it, he would come and I wouldn't notice anything had happened. Sometimes I would ask him to just bring me a Diet coke. I was not impressed. Naturally he had to go. If you're not even TRYING to make up for it - an even bigger problem because ultimately I will cheat. The benfit of the relationship is that I get to have you and you alone the way I like and need - you don't just give a random 30 second deposit and say "I'll do better next time" Hello ? The POWER OF NOW - he should have read it.
In february of this year I attended a concert in Hawaii and Tanya Stephens (a reggae singer) and I were chatting. She told me after 10 minutes she is ready to go to sleep; I remember laughing and looking out the window so when she asked me how much for how long I said very matter of factly:"45 minutes". She exclaimed " Manager! 45 minutes -what the hell can you be doing for 45 minutes?". I gave her a sweet smile. If she saw my toy box then maybe she might understand.
To coin a phrase from Chasing Amy, I need that "Deep Dickin". It's just the thing I gotta have for a good 45.
I know men have the overexcitement issue, but can I just say this - I Don't care! If you know what kind of drive your woman has - buy something and rub it on, take a pill - masturbate for crying out loud but whatever you do please do not deprive me.
With my pseudo-celebrity boyfriend being gone for a few weeks, the sexual tension is building and I feel like a dog in heat. I'm gonna start painting my apartment this weekend to distract myself. I've even picked up a boob fetish - I am a definite boob watcher now and I don't care.
I just know when he's back, it's gonna be some serious "My Super Ex girlfriend" type sex ( you'd need to see the movie to understand but it's paralled with Angie and Brad in Mr & Mrs Smith
)
xoxo Anj.