anjewoodruffe member for 26 weeks 1 day Send a message

The one thing you begin to realize when you work in the world of entertainment is that, nothing you do is truly private. You can try to maintain your privacy for a certain amount of time but there are no guarantees that your secrets will go untold. It is extremely difficult dating someone with any assumed star status since for every person you think is not interested in them, there are at least 100 people who are.

We are constantly bombarded with tabloid headlines that relish in the demise and destruction of any celebrity regardless of what is being done. Such noteworthy topics like: Lindsay Lohan Gets a Wedgy – big deal – I had camel toe last week! I’m almost distraught one noticed (or so I think). This is an industry that is loaded with drama and while your life may seem uninteresting to you, dating and relationship with any celebrity is often very stressful.

This is my big secret:
I have a pseudo-celebrity boyfriend who I have been seeing almost 3 years. They may not be the happiest years of my life but it’s something.

I will not say who he is or specifically what industry he belongs to, but he is widely known across the globe. When we first started dating, I was essentially paranoid. Every single thing that had never bothered me dating a 9to5-er in over a decade bothered me with this man. He was definitely the aggressor and his pursuit made me nervous, anxious and paranoid. I used to wonder if he thought I was easy or if his other options fell through. The first time he called me he left 4 different numbers on my voice mail to reach him (this is a guy who wanted me to call him back) and I refused to return the call. For one week, he would call me every day at random times and I would watch his number light up on my LCD and hit “Decline”. Why? Because I was scared and intimidated. Why, you ask? Simply put, I could see no reason why this man who could have any woman he wanted, wanted to spend time with me; simple, normal, pretty, size not 4, funny, no fuss, no bling, no nothing to her but charm, personality and a winning smile with some cute dimples.

It took almost a year for me to get ‘comfortable’ with the idea of dating him. When we did go out together, I was always uncomfortable because I didn’t want to be seen with him. Not because I was embarrassed but because I was concerned with the gossip and what people could say- forget what they would say! If he hugged me when he saw me for the first time on a particular day, I worried that our hug was too intimate and “people” would notice. Did I mention the paranoia issue?

I have another confession directly related to dating my pseudo-celebrity boyfriend. I committed the official Federal pseudo-Celebrity girlfriend faux pas – I checked his myspace page and (I should be handcuffed for this) I used the ever informative Google with his name in the “search” box. That did not help his cause, nor mine for that matter. I went from his name to the “and” comments of including “women”, “warrants”, “arrests”, “children” and I had to stop.

I had never considered myself a jealous person prior to my pseudo-celebrity relationship until one day, while being a stalker on his myspace page, I saw a message from one of his fans that said “Hi huney – haven’t seen you around in long time”. There I was – me and the myspace message; I wrote down her sexy-to-herself-only screen name on a yellow Post-it, searching desperately for my phone and getting ready for the hostile text message that was about to follow… when I realized – maybe she meant he hadn’t checked his myspace page in a while? I paused and checked the date of his last login and it turned out, the latter was true. However, in my mind there was never any way to know for sure.

And there it is. The reality unlike any reality show – there is never any real way to know for certain what your ‘other’ is doing when they are away from you. Being with someone who travels more than a flight attendant with whom you do not co-habitate, you share a relationship with all strangers in the world who adore and love him (aka fans and groupies), and you, in this case me, as the pseudo-girlfriend, need a strong support system to deal with the relationship.

It’s not easy. You’ll never see them when you want to or as much as you want to and it’s an unwilling sacrifice you make from day one except you don’t really fully understand it until you’re already emotionally involved. Most of my friends have tried to convince me that he is potentially having affairs in every state he visits – this doesn’t even include the countries he visits. But, there is a point where you either trust the person that you’re with or you don’t. Getting to the next level is not that easy either because any celebrity wants to know that the person with them is for them and not what they can provide.

I trust him…for the most part but it doesn’t stop my mind from wondering. When I am insecure, I tell him and he reassures me. He does what he needs to do to try to keep me his. Truth is - when you begin getting into all the negative possibility, you are removing the benefit of any worthwhile positive creation. The relationship is what it is and we, as human beings, always want more but as soon as he and I can discuss how to get to the next level, we remain friends who love each other.

At the end of any given day, that’s really not so bad.

** Naturally I have been avoiding this topic like the plague since I tend to be overrun with questions about my personal life – who I’m dating, when was the last time I got some, is there anyone I am “seriously” interested in, am I looking for a friend with benefits etc. As I said, I have a pseudo-celebrity boyfriend. It’s up to you to decide if the pseudo applies to the relationship or the celebrity