member for 30 weeks 6 days
by Megan Thomas with FirstWivesWorld.com
Do you want to know which nights I get the best sleep? I get the best sleep on the night after I have sex with my husband. Not the night of the sex, but the night after. He initiates every few nights, but the night following an evening of sex, he doesn't expect anything from me — so he just drifts off. It's great.
Here's what it's like to go to bed when my husband wants sex:
1. I lay down and he rolls over, puts his arm around me, asks me how I'm feeling.
2. If I don't respond physically he starts running his hand up and down my arm or trying to rub my shoulders. He might ask me if I want a massage or if there is something I want to talk about.
3. If I still don't respond physically he'll start making suggestions about the things he wants to do. Unless I want to stay up for a few hours arguing with him, I have sex with him.
4. If we don't have sex, he intermittedly grabs and paws at me throughout the night.
Here's what it's like to go to bed the night following sex:
I lay down and my husband rolls over, putting his back to me. He doesn't say a word.
It's a pattern I'm used to. If he's physically satisfied then he doesn't stir when I come to bed. If he wants sex, he's suddenly awake when I come to bed no matter what time it is. Apparently I'm really interesting and intriguing when he wants to get some, but when he's satisfied I become a stealth ninja when I come to bed. Funny how that works.
On the nights that I'm really tired and just want to go to sleep — but don't want to get intimate — I've fantasized about sleeping on the couch just to avoid the whole song and dance with my husband, but I know he'll come looking for me and it will turn into a lengthy discussion that will evolve into sex if I want to get any sleep.
It really shouldn't be this complicated.
Comments
Login or register to post a commentWow, after reading this I
Wow, after reading this I thought this marriage is in trouble. I don't want to judge and have no idea all the circumstances but even when I was angry with GC, I still wanted to have sex with him. We had such a strong sexual connection, besides the fact that it felt good for me too.
And I could be really mad at him, it didn't matter. I liked sex with him. Do you even like your husband let alone love him? I am trying to wrap my mind around this.
Freda
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I get the same feeling as
I get the same feeling as Freda. I don't think there's one kind of relationship that's right for everyone or anything, but sex should be enjoyable to both people almost every single time or else there is something wrong.
The fact that your husband seems to not take no for an answer is very disturbing to me. That is extremely disrespectful and could even be considered criminal.
Well now, not so fast...
While I've had points in my life where I definitely would have agreed with the other ladies who've commented, I've also had periods where something else was going on (not entirely related to my partner) where my drive went to 0%. Evaluate what else is happening... do you still love your partner? Do you find yourself wanting to do things with other people? Do you find yourself still pleasuring yourself when you're alone? I've been at a point where the answers to those were yes, no, and no. Still loved him, but my drive was literally zilch. Sometimes it can just be you.
And as for his persistence being criminal, I'm not sure I'd go there. It's not a terrible thing to keep the issue on the radar screen, but yeah, it's something worth speaking about, painful as it might be to discuss. Probably worth a visit to your health practitioner to find out what other things are going on in your life that might be clocking back your drive.
Good luck!
- Jacqueline
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"Ce qui fait la nuit en nous peut laisser en nous les étoiles." ~ V. Hugo