Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

Are you a sex-starved woman? Are you in a sex-starved relationship or marriage? Has your partner lost their sex drive? According to most recent poll, 36% of you said Yes, 38% said No and 26% think they are!

If you are or you think you are what do you do? Where do you turn? Are you ALONE? Michele Weiner Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Wife; What to Do When He's Lost Desire and Divorce Busting and lastly, The Sex-Starved Marriage, is one of the first authors to talk about something that has become more prevalent or at least more discussed in the past decade: women who want as much or more sex than their partners. She tackles this this taboo subject that many couples are facing head on!

I have always said that it is very difficult to be in a relationship where one partner has a higher sex drive than the other and the other expects monogamy. In essence, the partner who has a lower sex drive, ultimately controls the sex. Might not even be in a negative way, but they decide when it is going to happen and when it isn't. This can be tough on a the partner with the high libido because so often in their eyes, sex equals "love, connection and the feeling of being needed," while the person with the lower sex drive assumes it is always about "the orgasm." I really Michele's perspective.

Often times, a lowered sex drive in a man is directly tied to his job and his self-esteem. If a man looses his job a woman can basically forget about sex until he picks himself back up. According to Dr. Goldberg, the author of When the Man You Love Won't Take Care of His Health, says, "Fifty to 90 percent of depressed men lose their sexual desire." Depression is the number one cause of erectile dysfunction in men, other important biological causes are: lack of exercise, drinking, smoking, heart disease, diabetes, bad diet, low blood pressure and more. The problem is that most men WON'T go in to see their doctors and worse they shun their wives and avoid the subject all together. They feel as if they have lost their manhood in some way and are embarrassed by their issue resulting in many unnecessary divorces.

There are other reasons why men pull away from sex just as women pull away from sex. Their is no connection or there are problems that are lingering in the relationship. Yes, men withdraw from sex in the same way that women do and for the same reasons. Ladies take note that men want the same things you do, especially more so as they age and their testosterone levels significantly decrease. It is now a known fact that many men go through what is equivalent to menopause and it is called "manopause." Gail Sheehy goes into great detail in her book Understanding Men's Passages; Discovering The New Map of Men's Lives

If you are experiencing sexual deprivation and are considering divorce or a affair, don't fret, Michele has seen many relationships mended and fixed through counseling and talking about the issues at hand. Talking about it is half the problem. You can get some great tips from her website at http://www.sexstarvedwife.com

Other Links:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/990260/po...

http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,1728520,0...