member for 22 weeks 1 day
Okay, here it is bad marriage abusive marriage. There is this guy at my husbands work, (hate calling him that) who is to die for. He is HOT and is interested in me. He has been emailing me and I him and it has gotten pretty intense. The problem not the marriage cause it has been bad for 15 years and sex less for over a year. This guy wants me and I him, but he respects my s/o to much to go there physically and doesn't want to be the demise of my marriage. I totally think this is awesome and hot.
I don't want to stop the emails and the thing is I don't feel guilty and this has never happened to me before this intense and I never felt this way before not even for my s/o. I think about all the things he tells me he wants to do to me all the time and every time I see him I get hot and well so does he. We have been alone together once and it was wow, nothing but kissing happened and he touch my breasts and he is all I feel now. Am I crazy?
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Login or register to post a commentI'm confused... why are you
I'm confused... why are you still married?
"Love Well. Love Wisely."
www.JustInCaseInc.com
great question
I'm confused to, i am still married mostly out of fear and my s/o tells me if i leave he will die and that kind of crap.
Please understand that I
Please understand that I don't mean to sound harsh, but when I hear he is threatening his life to keep you around it seems like it's just another attempt to control you.
I am not an expert, nor claim to be... Please find some help to get out of this situation. The only life you are responsible for is your own and your children. You don't want to teach your children that marriage = suffering and that somehow you are worth less than the marriage...
You also do not want to start an affair ESPECIALLY an affair that can be printed out and used against you if you ever want to fight for custody of your kids!
Play this safe... everything is easier said than done, but 15 years is long enough don't you think?
I wish you strength and clarity...
"Love Well. Love Wisely."
www.JustInCaseInc.com
Oooooooo, Gurlfriend, you need to take this slow
The end of a marriage is a serious matter and a separate topic all by itself. And I don't want to sound harsh either, but home-boy is seriously playing you to get what he wants. And I'm not implying that it's necessarily a bad thing to want (him), b/c you may want exactly what he does. But please take this slow and think it through. "...he respects my s/o to much to go there physically and doesn't want to be the demise of my marriage..." but yet "...he tells me he wants to do to me all the time...kissing and touch my breasts..." Gurl, pahleeze!!! Sorry. If he truly respected your s/o then he wouldn't be telling you anything but go home to your man. And I could be wrong, but I suspect that you might have mentioned to him that you and s/o haven't had sex in over a year and he might be playing to your vulnerability (and sexual frustration).
I know all of this might be hard to hear especially when you feel you have a connection with this man ("...he is all I feel now....), but please do what's best for you and yours (which may include getting laid -- but at least do so fully conscious with your eyes open). Ain't nothing wrong with passion and desire as long as you know what you're getting into.
lvshudiva
"There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stay Away
If your husband is as controlling and abusive as you've mentioned in your other post, I would suggest avoiding getting involved in this situation. You very likely have NO IDEA what your husband is capable of and most men who say things like "I will kill myself if you leave me" mostly mean they will try to harm you first and make you a public example and you may very well take this idle flirtation with you.
I think you place yourself in some danger to keep tolerating your husband's abuse and you do need to seek professional help for you and your family. I know you keep thinking he means well and he wouldn't intentionally harm you but - if someone is not right in the head, you are a victim to their next mood swing.
Protect yourself. Be safe.
xoxo Anje
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" -
Marilyn Monroe
You know the saying...
Don't crap where you eat. I feel for you - it must be SO exciting to feel something this delicious, after such a stale situation. But just because the way he acts is wrong doesn't give you license to do the same. Always make sure you can look at your reflection in the morning and like what you see, because the one person you are stuck with is you. (And your kids, of course, but that's always a good thing.)
What I think is great about this is that you are seeing there are other people out there that might be right for you. Hopefully this will help you to find a solution.
Good luck!