Freda Mooncotch member for 1 year 25 weeks Send a message

I was talking to my friend the other day about how precious our time is and how much we value it as we get older. The conversation with my friend made me realize that with each passing year, I only have so many hours and minutes left in my life--and that is if I live to ripe old age of 80 years old. What if something happens to me and my time is cut short? It really made me think about how I am spending my time. From working commitments to family and friendships, where has most of my time been spent? Doing what and with whom? I started asking myself questions like - "Do I like what I am doing? Do I like hanging out with these people? Do I know the people I really like? What do I really want to spend my time doing and with who?

This made me start separating the people and activities that I like from the ones that I don't like and evaluating relationships. I also started placing a much higher value on my time and just who exactly I want to spend it with. Whether it is friends, family, business associates or customers, I really pick and choose wisely where, who and how much time I am willing to devote to each of these people.

I have gotten to the point where I really pick and choose the people, functions and things I am willing to do. When you are in your twenties you resemble a puppy dog who is starving for interaction and attention and is just so happy to go to every networking function available to man kind in order to hand out as many business cards as possible in the hopes of scoring that "next" deal. You kiss a lot of ass and frankly, your lips get sore! In your youth, you are easily impressed by fancy words, exaggerated tales and fancy cars. But, as you approach your thirties you have learned that you really don't want to do business with many of the folks that you were so desperately willing to take on in your twenties and you start to get really smart and picky about what events and who you are going to spend that time with. Each and every year after thirty, you start to get really picky about your time. At least I am.

My friend heard an interview on the radio with Sylvester Stallone where the Sly shared with the host his breakdown of exactly how much time he had left in his life if he were to live until he was 80 years old. He had it nailed down to how many weekends he would have left--even to the exact minutes he would have left. He shared that if he had only so many Saturdays left to live, he didn't want to spend them with people he didn't like, didn't know, didn't care about and doing activities or events that didn't have any meaning to him. Some things you just can't get away from and you have to show your mug, but, other things you can learn to say "no" to. I could totally relate to my friends account of that interview. I know exactly what Sylvester is talking about. It made me aware of exactly how I plan my weekly schedule. I allow a little time for networking and the majority of my time for doing the things I love, like hanging out with my family and friends over good food, sharing wine and stories, going for long walks, writing, reading and doing activities I want to do.

I don't waste my time hanging out with people I don't like, who are fake or snobby. I don't waste my time with argumentive or self absorbed people who drain you of your most valuable asset with their self centered conversation, bragging about what they have, where they are going, and how many cars they can fit in their garage or what big company they work for. I actually feel sorry for those people because it is evident that they have nothing to bring to the table and they must be very empty on the inside. I can't even begin to imagine what their family conversations are like around the dinner table or what their intimate conversations sound like with their lover or spouse. I would rather hang out with the guy who has something to bring to the table in the form of life experience or life stories than hang out with a bunch of people who are full of themselves. And they are full all right, but it is with something else......shit.

It is like the main character in the TV series "Mad Men." Don Draper is a very intelligent man who seeks to be challenged and intellectually stimulated. He is a deep thinker and is very perplexed about many aspects of his life. Often, he tries to talk and express his fears, joys and accomplishments to his lovely bride, only to be met with a whole lot of nothing. There is nothing there. So, out of frustration and the need to be known, he seeks out meaning and companionship through extra marital affairs and I think he has found the woman that "gets" him and who wants to know him. I often wonder how many relationships are like that on both sides. I would venture to say, there is a lot.

I think once you get to this point, you also become extremely direct in conversation as well and you become very precise in reading people and what their motivations are. You learn very quickly when to end a conversation and excuse yourself from people you have no interest in wasting your time with. Additionally, because you place such a high value on your time, every conversation you have is more meaningful and straight forward with people whether it is in business, marriage, or relationships. You learn to be as clear and direct in your points as possible and work hard to try and understand the points of those that you have a tremendous amount of respect for.

As a result of the conversation I had with my friend, I really value and cherish my true friends and the conversations and moments we share together. I really value my relationship with my parents and son and completely enjoy them because they are getting older too. It's not just my clock that is ticking, it is theirs too. When my friend shared the interview with me on Sylvester’s thoughts, it really struck a cord. My time is the most valuable asset in my life right now. It means so much to me and I don't want my schedule packed full of meetings and events with people I have no interest in. As a result, my schedule is much lighter but packed with more meaningful plans, dinners and experiences with quality people.