Last week's poll "My Significant Other Wants Me To Watch Porn...What Do I Do?" had a tremendous response! Over 62% of you said, "Hell Yeah!" to watching porn with your significant other. Men around the world are rejoicing!
In this week's Straight Talk we are discussing the subject that can either be a pain in the ass or a total pleasure...depending on who you are. We had many emails about this subject, so it's definitely something that's on your mind. Take our latest poll: Have You Tried Anal Sex.
My Significant Other Wants To Experiment With Anal Sex. What Do I Do?--Cheeky Susie
If you're adventurous and so is your partner (might be a good idea to talk about it and not just get a surprise from behind...that could hurt!), then you might want to indulge in plenty of wine prior to having him poke you in the pooper. More important than the wine is lube...you don't want to wake the neighbors if you scream and lube will really help if your significant other is well-endowed. Check out the video by renowned sexologist Dr. Joy Davidson on our AlphaTubes - Anal Sex: Separating Fact from Fantasy
FREDA SAYS: So your partner wants to poke you in the pooper! Well, I say have a lot of wine and lubrication handy and give it a try. Once isn't going to kill you. Before you proceed I recommend some homework. First, Dr. Ian Kerner - Sexologist, has a great chapter called "The Butt Stops Here" in his book He Comes Next. He discusses intelligently and informatively all the ins and outs of both yours and your partners bottoms! Dr. Joy Davidson's video discusses important information if you plan on venturing into no mans land. And from what I gather the male G-spot is the preineum which is located about two inches inside the anus..... so, ladies, now that I have armed you with some interesting facts, if he wants to try to poke your pooper ask if you can reciprocate the favor!
I also would highly recommend reading Dr. Kerner's first chapter in his book He Comes Next about the woman on the Shaky Bridge Study and why men are attracted to adventurous women. Very interesting to say the least.
GABE SAYS: Anal sex: If you don't want to do it, then don't. But if you really want to please your partner, then try it slowly, first with fingers and a fair amount of lubricant. If you enjoy it, go from there. If you don't enjoy it then discontinue. Explain to your
partner that you don't enjoy it; it's no pleasurable for you. If your partner doesn't appreciate your trying something you're uncomfortable with, just to please him/her, then s/he might not care for you in the same way you care for him/her.
If you enjoy it, then you've just found something that gives you pleasure and your world is a slightly better place.
JC SAYS: Anal sex….again, it all comes down to your comfort level. If you are absolutely against it, hold your ground. If your S/O cares about you, he will respect you…did I just sound like your Mom? Well, sometimes Mom is right. If you decide to experiment, I suggest doing a little research with your S/O to learn the best way to do it safely and comfortably.
That's the poop on anal sex....next week we'll take a look the increasingly popular subject of "Swinging" with other couples....
If you have a question you would like answered email info@alphawomen.com. We have the answer!
Comments
Login or register to post a commentI love my back door man!
My husband is a big fan of anal sex, while the whole process (from conceptualization to finally going for it) tends to not hold my interest. Lots of practice has gotten me to a point wherein I know how to prepare myself for it, and actually enjoy it while in the throes. It's tricky, but possible!
Like with anything else, if you don't have a solid foundation of trust, this is a hard area to approach. It is a very personal form of intimacy and can go wrong on so many levels.
Like everyone else said: lots of lube, lots of warm-up/foreplay, and lots of conversation on what you both expect.
Since it's not really my cup of tea, it's not a regular occurrence in my and my husband's lovemaking repertoire. However, knowing that he gets a special thrill from it, and knowing that I do enjoy it occasionally, I tend to surprise him by 'backing it up' every so often. He's ever so grateful!
~feathermaye
“It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.” ~Andy Warhol
Not too much wine!
Not to be the fussy sex educator here, but I would like to point out that while a little wine to relax you before anal sex is great, too much can be bad. Slow, well lubricated anal sex can be awesome, but if you are not in touch with what your body is feeling (because you had too much wine or drugs) you can increase your risk for hurting your body. If anal sex hurts, that is your body's way of saying SLOW DOWN (or stop)! The tissue around your anus is on the delicate side, so you can damage it if you go too fast, don't use enough lube or are too rough. And please, never use a desensitizing spray/cream/lube! No good! If you don't want to have anal sex, your body will know it and it will be less comfortable, so I say only do it if you really, truly want to.
And yes, many, many guys love to have their prostate stimulated (which must be done anally) so I think it is fair that any man who wants to penetrate a women anally, should be open to receiving that kind of stimulation himself. And recent studies have actually shown that prostate stimulation is good for men's prostate health.
There are great books on the subject for anyone interested in reading more about safe, fun anal sex. My favorite is the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino.
xoxo
searah
Thanks Searah! You are the
Thanks Searah! You are the best. Searah is from Early2Bed or www.Early2Bed.com and is also a sex educator! We spent some time with Searah in her shop getting great advice. Check out these video's in Straight Talk!
Glad to have you on board!
xoxo,
Freda
Anal Sex
Hey, my S/O also wants to experiment with anal sex and has been hinting about it for a while. But why? Some men hear its a "tighter fit," some hear that it makes their S/O feel good, and some just want to try something new.Finally, I watched Dr Joy's video and learned more about it. I'm not real inhibited, its just I never tried it before. I finally feel more comfortable about what to expect and the fact that he's so into me and always trying to please me is a big turn-on to me. Now that I know what to expect, with plenty of lube, we plan to try it sometime soon when we're both ready I believe the most significant part of this is the fact that our men are not just trying to feel good themselves, but they truly believe it will be beneficial to us as well.
Nothing is ever going into
Nothing is ever going into my ass. I swear, I get light headed just thinking about it.
"I paint my own reality." -Frida Kahlo
Rump Wrangling
..is not fun for me. The fact is - most guys want to try it ( I think because they feel they can bust a load back there and won't get a woman pregnant) and I think if they have been very, very good at Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, your Birthday and your anniversary for at least 10 years - then they can have it once, for 20 seconds. No more.
If he has a little pecker it's easier but you have to lube up pretty well - KY or tongue licking - either or works for me. And know this, once they get up in there, their penis grows with the excitement. You say to yourself - it grows in this small, tight and never frequented back door? Ah - yes. They get overstimulated by the tightness and want to do deeper and for longer. Why can't it work the same way in the other place that is specifically designed to pop out a baby's head?!
Give them the 20 seconds and then say like Jeopardy "time's up".
Of course, if you are not comfortable with it at all then just don't do it. I say, let him lick your asshole first and see if you like that. It's one way to get something back there that doesn't hurt (actually it feels pretty darn good). Worse case scenario, you get some oral pleasure and shut him down anyway!
xoxo Anje
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" -
Marilyn Monroe
Oh no the dreaded back door!
I have done it yes! But I have never liked it. I did it with my first love and now my husband, not on a regular basis but it's been done. The only 2 times it felt good, out of a couple of hand fulls (cough) was one time I was sleep and surprised (this is why I didn't marry that jackass) the other time I was drunk and he was saying the sweetest stuff I had ever heard in my ear. So it was more I wanted to do it for him because he was so damn sweet!
Either way I closed my eyes, relaxed and thought of shoes! I hate it and when he asks I whine complain and scream, "hurry up and nut!"
Seems like a waste of?
Seems like a waste of a perfectly good Vagina!!!